The Day I Learned to Truly Listen: The Art Of Mindful Listening

I'm listening

July 20, 2025

"The next time someone speaks, pause. Don’t rush to fill the silence. Don’t think about what you’ll say next. Just listen with your whole heart."

I used to think I was a great listener. Friends often came to me with their problems, and I’d sit with them for hours, nodding, giving advice, offering solutions. I thought that was enough.

I’ll never forget the moment it hit me: I wasn’t really listening.

I was sitting on the couch across from my youngin, watching television. She was sharing something that she learned by asking Google. Although, I nodded and made the right sounds, my mind was somewhere else. I was half thinking about what I was going to say next and half distracted by the sound of the TV.

When she paused and said “right mommy”, I realized that I wasn't actually listening to her and I became very disappointed in myself. And in that short quiet moment, something shifted in me. I decided right then that I needed to do better. I decided that I wanted to be the kind of person who truly listens, not just with my ears, but with my heart.

That began the start of my journey into mindful listening. What I discovered along the way changed not only how I relate to others, but how I relate to myself.

So What Is Mindful Listening?

As I was researching interpersonal relationships and better ways to communicate, I came across the term mindful listening. I discovered an amazing new way of effectively communicating.

Mindful listening is the practice of being fully present when someone is speaking. It’s not just about hearing their words. It’s about quieting your own inner voice long enough to really see them, to feel the emotions beneath their words, and to create a safe space where they don’t feel judged or rushed.

It’s listening without interrupting. Without planning a response. Without assuming you already know what they mean.

In a way, it’s a form of meditation, except instead of focusing on your breath, you focus on the other person, with curiosity and compassion.

Being Fully Present

"it is still a struggle for me sometimes."

 

One of the first lessons I learned was how powerful it is to give someone your full, undivided attention. It sounds simple, but in practice, it’s not always easy. If I'm being honest, it's still a struggle for me sometimes.

I have to train myself to put down my phone, quiet the chatter in my head, and focus entirely on the person in front of me. No multitasking. No rehearsing my response. Just being there. This is an ongoing process and I have to continuously remind myself to do these things. 

When I do these things, something amazing happens: people open up. I can see their shoulders relax, their words flow more freely. It feels like I'm giving them space to breathe. In return, I feel more connected and alive too. My youngin loves when we have conversations now and I'm giving her my undivided attention.

Hearing What’s Not Said

I have also started to notice the unspoken parts of conversations, the pauses, the sighs, and the way someone’s eyes flickered when they mentioned certain things.

Listening this way has taught me that words are only part of the story. When I tune into the emotions beneath the words, I understand people on a much deeper level.

This level of awareness creates empathy. It helps me see past misunderstandings and into the truth of what someone is feeling.

Letting Go of My Inner Response

"it wasn't easy at first and I still slip up sometimes."

For years, I thought listening meant preparing a smart reply or fixing the problem. I had been listening to react and not to fully understand. However, mindful listening has shown me otherwise. However, to be completely honest here, I sometimes still have a smart reply lol. What can I say? I'm not perfect lol.

I have learned to let go of that inner urge to jump in and instead, just be with the other person’s words, without judgment and without planning my response.

By quieting the mental chatter, I create space for genuine understanding and richer conversations. I also learn more about myself and my habitual patterns of thinking.

It wasn’t easy at first and I still slip up sometimes. However, the more I practice, the more I notice my conversations feel less rushed and more meaningful.

The Beautiful Ripple Effect

As I embrace mindful listening, something unexpected happens. Not only has my relationships grown stronger, but I have started to listen to myself more deeply too.

I can hear my own thoughts and emotions with greater clarity. I became more patient, more compassionate, not just with others, but with myself.

An Invitation from My Heart

If you’re like me, it’s easy to get caught up in the noise of life and forget to listen deeply. But I can promise you this: when you slow down, breathe, and give someone your full presence, you create space for real connection and healing. Now when my youngin asks “right mommy”, I know exactly what she is talking about and where she's coming from with the question.

Today, I invite you to try it. The next time someone speaks, pause. Don’t rush to fill the silence. Don’t think about what you’ll say next. Just listen with your whole heart.

You might be surprised at how much beauty you’ll hear. Not only in their words, but in the quiet spaces between them.

I hope this blog has found you in good spirits and that you enjoyed reading my personal thoughts on mindful listening as much as I have enjoyed sharing them with you. I'm looking forward to sharing more of my personal experiences in the future. Please check back regularly for my latest blogs. Until next time....

-Daphne Oh

Kay Bea Presents

"Same World, Different Perspective